Why Skeletons in the Closet Cannot Keep You From Success

Closets, and what you keep in them, are close to the hearts of psychotherapists, human resources professionals, university and school teachers, the Criminal Records Bureau, anti-terrorist agencies, the police, the Secret Service, religious professionals, and novelists everywhere - or they should be. I would go so far as to say that what we keep locked up in our closets makes us most interesting and most complex as human beings. It can also destroy lives - ours, and the lives of those around us. But does it keep us from success? And when should that door be pried open and those bones come clattering out?
For most of us those skeletons consist of mistakes we have made, wrong decisions, failures, lies and deceptions, personal tragedies, anything we don't want to face as we get on with our lives.
I would argue that those kinds of skeletons in our closets need to be treated very delicately and sensitively. There is a cliche phrase most of us are familiar with: "what you don't know won't hurt you." But this is only partially true. In some cases I believe those skeletons should be kept firmly in place. The consequences of bringing them to light could be devastating, in several people's lives, and could have disastrous repercussions in the future. In other cases it's appropriate for them to be hauled out of storage and put on public display - before they dissolve into dust. It is the novelist's task, of course, to know about what's in the closet, and to choose what's going to happen to it. In reality, those professionals I have mentioned above base their careers upon the answer to the question at the end of my first paragraph.
The question of skeletons and success is dependent upon whether "success" requires total honesty. Looking at the world around us, I would say no it doesn't. In fact often enough it's a major disadvantage. Nevertheless, how long can such success last?
It can certainly go a long way. But the question remains. Consider this truth voiced by a character in Susan Howatch's novel "The Heartbreaker": "Then I thought how mysterous people were and how little anyone knew about what really went on in other people's lives."
This is a fact we all have to live with. And the question of whether our skeletons can keep us from success must be seen in that light.
S.C. Skillman
S.C. Skillman is the author of "Mystical Circles - a psychological thriller". Here you will find mysterious behaviour, events that keep you guessing, and people playing at cross purposes: "intense psychological drama in a beautiful setting". The novel is in stock with Amazon and can be downloaded on your Kindle. You can also visit the author's website to find out more. Click the secure payment gateway to buy a signed copy at http://www.scskillman.co.uk/.

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Life Lesson at Play

"Oh no! What is the matter?" I cry as my oldest daughter V runs towards me with tears in her eyes. This is probably the 3rd time or so that this has happened today.
I pick up my wonderful big oldest who normally is not given to crying that much and try to find out again what the matter is. It turns out that my normally social bunny who finds a friend everywhere she goes is being ignored by a BOY!!! How dare he? HOW DARE HE? What is a mother to do? Go over and attack or use this as an opportunity to teach a life lesson? Life lesson, it is!
In life, there are times when people are nasty - I am sure we have all experienced this at some point in our lives. Someone we work with, we go to college with or an acquaintance of some sort decides for whatever reason to make our life pretty difficult. Even we as adults may sometimes wish we could run and cry. So how can V deal with this?
Sometimes it is best just to walk away - Now in this situation, V had quite a few other children who could potentially become allies so why bother messing with the one person who was making her life difficult? As adults, we too sometimes find ourselves in hateful relationships and particularly if you are a woman, you take it upon yourself to try and fix the other person. We can make excuses for the other person and stick around hoping that things will improve or they will see the error of their ways. But sometimes it really is best just to walk away! There is so much of life to be experienced, so many other people to relate to, so why choose to stay with someone who is emotionally or physically abusing you? Yes, at times there is room to be available to help if the other person actually wants to be helped but if we are the only one pushing for change, then it is definitely time to walk away. Self-deception is unfortunately rife amongst women. We are nurturers and our first inclination is to save everyone. However, for our own personal growth, sometimes it is best to walk away.
Life is full of choices - Life, though difficult at times, is full of good options, full of abundance. We sometimes have to look hard to see this abundance but that does not make it any less true. Today, there was an abundance of possible playmates for V but she was choosing to stick with the one person causing aggravation. In life, sometimes, because we are so used to the devil we know, we stick with it though we long for things to be better. It is up to us to step away from our comfort zone and choose a different life. If we keep doing the same things, then we keep getting the same things!
Value self - The truth is that all of us are unique and priceless. For that reason alone, we do not have to put up with people being nasty to us. We need to know without a shadow of a doubt, what we are worth and only allow things or people into our lives that enhance that. This, I know, is easier said than done as I know I have tendencies to forget just how amazing I am but the moment I remember, It is definitely time to take stock of relationships, career and anything that affects me and get rid of the fat!
Enough life lessons for a four year old, I think! How much of that did she understand, I wonder?

Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.
Dr. Shad Helmstetter

Nonny Knight is passionate about inspiring other women to greater heights.
Thanks for reading!
Visit her http://mum-in-business.com/

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What You Need To Know To Use Subliminal Images Effectively

Subliminal images are unique pictures that can influence your subconscious and conscious mind when you gaze at them. They do appear in TV shows, movies, magazines and other media sources. In most cases, when such images are looked upon, they are not usually recognized for what they really are. In fact, your conscious mind may even try to ignore them. They may as well be beyond your level of conscious perception.

There are some real facts you need to know about subliminal images in order to use them effectively. In the first place, you need to understand how they really look like and also how they appear. Basically, such images can be in any form. They can be in the form of print adverts in the magazines. They can also be in the form of regular commercials meant for adverts in the TV. They can also be in the form of DVD images which you can easily watch. Whichever is the case, the best subliminal images you can use are the types that also have real messages and sounds that can influence your mental system. There are many of them out there in DVD forms. Some of them even appear only as messages or sounds in ordinary CDs.

Another fact you need to know about using the subliminal images is how they influence the human mental system. Basically, the images are first of all perceived by the unconscious or subconscious mind. At first, your conscious mind doesn't have enough time to recognize or analyze such images. When you first notice a subliminal image, your conscious mind can easily ignore it without having anything to do with it. In the process of ignoring the image, your subconscious mind has already picked it without your knowledge.

 Oftentimes, there's always a clear impression the image will make deep down in your unconscious mind. Later on, this impression will come up to influence your conscious mind especially when you least expect. Here's a typical example. There are some subliminal images used as adverts in the TV. When you first observe them, your conscious mind can easily ignore them as nothing to be thought about. However, when such images keep re-appearing on daily basis maybe during news or advert sessions, your subconscious mind will be picking the impressions without you knowing it. Later on, such impressions will begin to have serious influence on your conscious thoughts. You might even wake up one day to see yourself repeating the sounds or wordings used in the adverts. The above scenario is exactly what happens when you make use of subliminal images or messages designed to help you achieve a sound and healthy mental system.
Again, you need to discover the best two methods you can engage in using subliminal images. You can either use the visual or audio methods. The visual method involves the use of the subliminal images in the software form while the audio method involves the use of the subliminal messages on CD's. You can always grab them from bookstores or reliable sources online. You can always enhance your mental system effectively when you use the subliminal images accordingly.

Click Here to download your FREE "Life Success Secrets" package. It normally sells for $47 but for a limited time only, you can grab it for free. Discover the secrets to a fuller, richer life with this free package at http://www.universallifesecrets.com/freegifta.html

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3 Quotes That Make Self-Improvement 'Simple'

How to improve oneself?
Well, it could be as simple as reading this self-improvement article, but I seriously doubt it.
It could be as simple as listening (and watching) how others do it, but you know better than just to rely on the actions of others don't you.
Or it could be taking right action, relentlessly so...
Or it could be a combination of all of the above, taking right actions as guided to do so by those who have done similarly, but always remembering to rely on your judgment.
This article will attempt to prove the case for the last option - taking the right sorts of actions, right for you that is. And I include 3 self-improvement quotes to help make that case...

Self-Improvement Quote #1:

"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy."
-- Oliver Goldsmith
Learning from others is pretty much how we learn to do most things as a child, I'm sure you'll agree. And when we become a teenager the influence of our peers is not far away. And then adulthood hits us, and we know all we need to know to do life 'our way'.
Except we don't. What we really know is that some parts of 'life' come easier for us than others; that maintaining successful relationships can be frustrating; and that the 'life skills' class seems to a never-ending one whose lessons get harder and harder.
Truth is, we can bumble along in life, blaming others for our failures and taking sole praise for our successes, or we can realise that it is ALWAYS useful to find a mentor or two to model ourselves on.
The mentor could be a family member or a friend or even a famous faraway type. But some kind of role model is always useful to be guided by, when it comes to developing certain aspects of our self.
Else you might find yourself seriously stuck in life, and making the same mistakes over and over again...

Inspirational Quote #2:

"Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for."
-- Socrates
Sometimes it's okay to learn from so-called self-help 'gurus'. Some of these people have struggled a great deal in life so that they now come to an understanding of how much easier life is when you take X action and have Y attitude.
These learned men and women understand themselves really well, and (usually) have a good way of explaining their reality so that it becomes your reality.
Then their journey, which might have taken a lifetime, can help shorten your own journey, as long - of course - as you DO what these people suggest you do, trusting your judgemental as you do so...
Self-Improvement Quote #3:

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."
-- Confucius
If you don't take actions, even the opposite actions to what some 'guru' suggests you take, then you're going nowhere in your journey of life - nowhere, slow. Development and growth can ONLY occur by your taking actions, preferably right actions.
So you put into practice what your mentor suggests; you do what the self-help guru urges you to do, also; and then, then you see how it works out in your life, and adjust accordingly.

As long as you take right actions, and reflect on how it actually works for you, then you'll grow as a human being... guaranteed!
And if you find that some of these so-called 'right actions' don't actually work then even better. Just as long as you know what DOES work for you, you can maybe become a self-help guru of your own and then come full circle and end up helping others shorten their life-journeys too.

And you can find many other self improvement ideas, contributed by many, beginning at this page - http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/self-improvement-ideas.html
From Steve M Nash - Editor of SelfHelpCollective.com

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Why Become a Life Coach?

Why do people become Life Coaches? What is the pull? Well there are many reasons why people seek to coach others. There are many reasons, some that will work and enable you to go on and become an effective coach and there are also reasons that will mean you will be doomed to failure. So lets explore both sides of this coin.

Most would say it is a desire to help others that is behind their wish to become a Life Coach. To feel that they have facilitated a change in another person's life is immensely rewarding and gratifying. The pertinent point here is to explore your motives behind the initial view of wanting to help others. Is it that you feel you are somehow better than others? or that you have the answers where others do not? I suggest to you if these are your motives then you will never succeed as a Life Coach for those reasons contradict the very essence of what Life Coaching is all about.

Some desire to be a Coach because they believe it is a way to earn a great income; and so it is. However, if your sole motive is to make money out of other people then that is a motive that will lead to disaster for you. People will see through your facade of wanting to help them and see the real truth that you just want their money.

Neither of these motivations will lead to effective coaching or a successful business. So what will?
Lets look at what motivations will lead to becoming a successful and effective Coach. Lets explore the real rewards of being an outstanding Coach. By rewards I mean the emotional satisfaction and joy in seeing others succeed through our help and not the material gains that come with it. Of course material gain is a part of it, in the concept of fair exchange we pay others for their service to us. This is the nature of life. Someone gives us something and we pay for it. With coaching it so happens that the service we give has life changing consequences for our clients of enormous proportions. What price total freedom? What price releasing the shackles of years that have held us back? What price being able to achieve that long held dream?

The very essence of Coaching is to help others see for themselves that which they have been unable to see on their own. For often when we are in trouble or have lived for years or even decades, with a mind-set that does not serve us, that somehow we are unworthy of wealth or success, we are so embedded in these negative beliefs about ourselves that it can be almost impossible to change that perspective without outside help.

Sometimes we are so "programmed" by life to expect the worse that we can not possible believe that we are able to set up our own business or go for that top paying promotion or new job.

This is where the real magic of Coaching occurs. By helping others to realise and see just what magnificence they have within themselves that they can achieve anything they want in life. This magic can only ever really happen when we are so far along our own personal growth paths that we can truly relish the success of others. When our motivations come from a genuine desire to see others succeed. When we are able to value and appreciate others for the people they are and have no desire to impose our own values onto them, rather to help them identify and live according to what is most important to them. Irrespective of whether their choices coincide with our own or not. These are the skills of the best coaches. These are the motivations of the successful Coaches.

Carrie's passion is helping others to achieve. Her in depth knowledge of what makes an exceptional coach, how to find clients and sustain business growth can help you do the same. Take a look at her Coaching Program if you have a change you are struggling to achieve in your own life. http://enlightenu.co.uk/become-a-coach.html

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ABC of Expat Woman's Life: B - Being an Expat Woman

What does it take to be an expat? And in particular an expat woman? In the past 7 years of my expat life I have come across many different definitions of who I was and what I was doing: international woman, expat woman, expat spouse, trailing spouse.
The first one international woman sounds quite neutral. To me it simply means a woman who has an international life or career. It could also mean that you live in your home country but travel for your work abroad for example.

The next one sounds already a bit more exotic: an expat woman. A few years ago when I moved to the Netherlands I did not considered myself being an expat woman. Although I was living and working abroad, I did have a 'local' husband and friends. I did not participate in the social international community either. After a couple of years this changed, as my husband got a project in Mexico City and we decided to move with the whole family there. And there it happened, my label of 'international woman' was replaced by a new one 'expat spouse'. When browsing on the Internet I came across the distinction in the definition of the two.

The distinction being whether you have your own career or not. So there I was suddenly 'downgraded' from a woman to a spouse. As a decent 'expat spouse' I had of course a cook, a nanny, a housekeeper and even a driver. All the attributes of an expat spouse! I was enjoying all social gatherings there were to enjoy: mornings for mothers and kids, knitting afternoons with local women, drinks with the 'Dutchies', lunches with other expat spouses, book clubs, yoga lessons. You name it, I have been there and have done it. Life was fun! So when did I turn into a 'trailing spouse' than? And who has ever invented such a name! A trailing spouse sounds very passive to me. It sounds like you really do not choose for a life of your own but that you simply have to follow your husband and his career, whether you like it or not.
It even sounds like there is a resistance, to be on a trail means that you are being pulled by someone else.

You do not take part in making a decision, you do not have your own will, you are just being pulled by your husband. To even make it worse you are not even a woman but you turned into a spouse. All your other roles such as being a mother, daughter, sister, friend, or colleague have been swiped away. How unfair is that? It is true that some of us do decide to put their own career on hold in order to support the career of their husband, but that does not mean we are deprived of all other attributes of being a woman, simply because we decide not to work for sometime! It is most of the time a woman who is in charge of building again a new nest for the whole family, starting a new social life, making sure kids feel safe and secure in their new environment. Furthermore, you have a life of your own to re-start with making new friends, deciding to find a new job or starting a entirely new career or study. It sounds to me like so much more than just being a spouse. Most of us give of course support to their hard working partners but that is one of our roles and not the only one.

Do not let yourself be locked (by yourself or others) in one of the drawers labeled 'trailing spouse'. As an exercise you can write down your name in the middle of the sheet of paper. Then write down on the same sheet of paper, around your name all your roles that you fulfil at the moment. Circle them and draw a line from your name to the role. See now how many important roles you are having.

About the author:
My name is Dorota Klop-Sowinska and I am an expat coach / counselor. During the past seven years I have experienced and enjoyed an expat life from all possible angles. I was a women with a busy international career living in the Netherlands with my Dutch husband. I was a mother experiencing the motherhood in the Netherlands when my daughter was born. I was an expat wife enjoying life in Mexico, where I have followed my husband's career. I was an expat woman starting my own career in Brazil (and supporting the career of my husband). Now I am an entrepreneur who is running her business in the Netherlands. Thanks to all those roles I can easily connect and fully understand women who are living abroad for various reasons or going through big changes in their lives. I have been there, I have seen it, I have done it!

I am the owner of DoSo! Coaching & Counseling http://www.dosocoaching.com/ which focuses on international women living abroad. I coach them in order for the to have successful & fulfilled life abroad both professionally & privately.
More on http://www.dosocoaching.com/

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Personal Transformation With Communication Seminars

A lot of people know how to talk, but only few know how to really communicate with others. It might seem like a play on words, but a huge difference exists between these verbs: the former is defined as an act with the goal of "simply expressing something in words," while the latter is defined as being an action that "conveys knowledge, information, or a feeling that is satisfactorily received or understood" by the other party. Some people are naturally good communicators. However, for most people, it's a skill that must be learned, developed, and honed. One way to effectively do this is by attending and participating in communication seminars.
The Goal of Communication Seminars
Communication seminars are conducted to help individuals overcome their difficulties in speaking so that they will be able to know how to communicate effectively with their peers. The facilitators of such seminars are often presenters who have experienced similar problems themselves. Because of this, they are able to understand the needs of the participants better and can offer guidance that can really be applied in various real-life situations.
Effective Communication with Communication Seminars
Contrary to what a lot of people think, CS (Communication Seminars) aren't just for public figures or those who are into public speaking. Anyone who has trouble relating to others or communicating with their peers can benefit from these seminars. Aside from lectures on effective communication, other activities include:
Interactive workshopsFoundational seminarsInterpersonal exploration sessionsIntrapersonal exploration sessionsSpeaking exercises
Transformative Communication with Communication Seminars
Transformative communication is a process of communication that can:
Challenge peopleEmpower and inspire individualsChange the beliefs or behaviors of othersBuild confidence in others
It is a powerful cultural tool that, when mastered, can be used to inspire movements and call for changes in individuals or in groups of people that are for the common good. Aside from being able to empower others, the process also transforms the speaker to become a better individual as well.
Intrapersonal Exploration with Communication Seminars
In order to become a good communicator, a person must have self-confidence and should believe in what he or she is talking about. "Intrapersonal exploration is a huge aspect in CS. During these sessions, an individual is motivated to dig deep and seek out what could be blocking the path to effective communication. These blocks may range from the subtle to the obvious; therefore, it is the goal of CS to allow the person to discover what is standing in the way of being able to communicate, and thus effectively relate with other people.
Interpersonal Exploration with Communication Seminars
Once the personal barriers are out of the way, it is time to develop the individual's interpersonal relations and communication skills. During this period, the sessions, seminars, workshops, and exercises are aimed to help the individual to:
Be able to empathize with other peopleDevelop relational skills towards their peersPractice communicating with other individualsApply techniques for effective communicationUtilize powerful communication strategies
Can You Benefit from Communication Seminars?
A person in any field can benefit from communication seminars. Do a bit of research and find one through Google today!
Learn more about communication skills training at Satvatove.com.

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