"Oh no! What is the matter?" I cry as my oldest daughter V runs towards me with tears in her eyes. This is probably the 3rd time or so that this has happened today.
I pick up my wonderful big oldest who normally is not given to crying that much and try to find out again what the matter is. It turns out that my normally social bunny who finds a friend everywhere she goes is being ignored by a BOY!!! How dare he? HOW DARE HE? What is a mother to do? Go over and attack or use this as an opportunity to teach a life lesson? Life lesson, it is!
In life, there are times when people are nasty - I am sure we have all experienced this at some point in our lives. Someone we work with, we go to college with or an acquaintance of some sort decides for whatever reason to make our life pretty difficult. Even we as adults may sometimes wish we could run and cry. So how can V deal with this?
Sometimes it is best just to walk away - Now in this situation, V had quite a few other children who could potentially become allies so why bother messing with the one person who was making her life difficult? As adults, we too sometimes find ourselves in hateful relationships and particularly if you are a woman, you take it upon yourself to try and fix the other person. We can make excuses for the other person and stick around hoping that things will improve or they will see the error of their ways. But sometimes it really is best just to walk away! There is so much of life to be experienced, so many other people to relate to, so why choose to stay with someone who is emotionally or physically abusing you? Yes, at times there is room to be available to help if the other person actually wants to be helped but if we are the only one pushing for change, then it is definitely time to walk away. Self-deception is unfortunately rife amongst women. We are nurturers and our first inclination is to save everyone. However, for our own personal growth, sometimes it is best to walk away.
Life is full of choices - Life, though difficult at times, is full of good options, full of abundance. We sometimes have to look hard to see this abundance but that does not make it any less true. Today, there was an abundance of possible playmates for V but she was choosing to stick with the one person causing aggravation. In life, sometimes, because we are so used to the devil we know, we stick with it though we long for things to be better. It is up to us to step away from our comfort zone and choose a different life. If we keep doing the same things, then we keep getting the same things!
Value self - The truth is that all of us are unique and priceless. For that reason alone, we do not have to put up with people being nasty to us. We need to know without a shadow of a doubt, what we are worth and only allow things or people into our lives that enhance that. This, I know, is easier said than done as I know I have tendencies to forget just how amazing I am but the moment I remember, It is definitely time to take stock of relationships, career and anything that affects me and get rid of the fat!
Enough life lessons for a four year old, I think! How much of that did she understand, I wonder?
Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.Nonny Knight is passionate about inspiring other women to greater heights.
Dr. Shad Helmstetter
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