Senin, 31 Oktober 2011

Good-Bye Job, Hello Entrepreneurship

The unemployment rate in the United States was last reported at 9.1 percent in September of 2011, begs us to ask the question should we hold our breath for economy to get rolling again? The current fragile and painful economic crisis has us holding our breath for relief on the near horizon for possible real change to reduce the worsening growth gap between the richest Americans and the middle-class and poor families.

We should not hold our breath with no clear signs of recovery, reform, new jobs or any other rabbit being pulled out of the hat.

In the context of the U.S. and global financial weakening causing uncertainty and tremendous change in the economy and labor market, many people are deciding that self-employment is the right choice for them. People work for themselves when there are too few jobs, or not the right kinds of jobs. They work for themselves because they want to have more control over their working hours or their working conditions. People become self-employed when employer discrimination stifles their potential. In short, people work for them selves when they want and need what self-employment can offer that other employment cannot.

Being self-employed is a way of life radically different from anything you've ever done before. To be successful at it you will have to make a real turn-about in how you both think and act.

Entrepreneurship has become a viable alternative in our history when economic self-sufficiency and independence has gained popularity. Throughout the ages the maverick approach of being one's own boss and shaping one's destiny has appealed too many at various stages of their lives. Quite often, it is precisely that segment of the population which has limited economic mobility that selects entrepreneurship as a means of family survival and financial growth.

The Black American tradition of self-employment is back. In past times and today the economic emergency solution to "no employment" is "self employment/ entrepreneurship".
If you should choose self-employment, the more you learn about it, the more convinced you are that it offers many of the things you appreciate: independence, personal satisfaction, unlimited earning power.

Start with a sideline business that will allow you to gradually make the transition, but if you go full blast into a business of your own you will be quickly pressed to making sweeping changes in how you do things.

You will find out soon enough that in running your own business there's no waiting for the go-ahead. In a job you wait for the next assignment, the next instruction, the next permission, the next applause. In your own business you make all happen from start to finish.

In deliberating over whether to seek self-employment or another job, you will likely suffer great doubt and apprehension. Your first impulse may be to seek outside counsel. However, if you are trying to decide whether to start a business of your own, you are probably not ready for the plunge. It's like asking outsiders whether you should marry. They may be able to offer some help regarding some of the details of what you are proposing, but they don't know enough about your personal feelings and intentions. If you can't depend on your own convictions, you will fall short in being able to do all the things that go into making either a successful marriage or a successful business.

People are told that it is important to have "purpose" in their lives-a direction, a set of goals. The direction and goals of most people's lives are extensions, direct reflections of the context in which they live. A real purpose for doing something must come from within you. You can be forced, cajoled, even humored into doing things, but you are the only one who can determine the purpose of your actions.

A razor sharp mind, a visionary outlook, and a knack to weather stormy situations go a long way in making any business venture a resounding success. It's time to rediscover latent skills and reactive old interests!

Self-employment is a career alternative for people who are mentally and physically strong, who can effectively implement the same skills and talents on their last job to become budding pink slip millionaires.

Farrah Gray is named as one of the most influential Black men in America by the National Urban League's Urban Influence Magazine. Ebony Magazine recognized him as an entrepreneurial icon, business mogul and international best-selling author. Raised in poverty on the South side of Chicago, Gray defied the odds and became a self-made millionaire by the age of 14, after working for himself at age 6. Motivated to work toward wealth at a young age after seeing his mother struggling in dire financial circumstances, Gray went on to create a number of successful companies while in his teens. Not content with material wealth alone, Gray has put that same caring compassion he felt for his mom to use in service for others. At the age of 21, he received an Honorary Doctorate degree of Humane Letters from Allen University. This was in recognition of his ingenious economic mind and distinguished commitment to the development of values such as leadership, integrity and scholarship. Gray also enjoys sharing his practical advice as a sought-after public speaker and through popular business books such as 'Reallionaire' and 'Get Real, Get Rich'. He is currently a syndicated columnist, professional numismatist; chairman of the Farrah Gray Foundation. He is also the spokesman for the National Coalition for the Homeless and the National Marrow Donor Program.

How You Can Tell If a Girl Likes You by Knowing Her Secret Code

It is a question that every guy asks himself at some stage in his life. How can I tell if a girl likes me. The truth is that many of us ask ourselves this question over and over again. Women are no doubt more perceptive when the shoe is on the other foot. They pick up on things very quickly and seem to know what you are thinking before you do.

Not being able to tell if a girl likes you is a problem that I would love for you to be able to avoid immediately. Many guys who learn how to attract women fail to see the signs of attraction in the beginning and miss out on many opportunities because of this. They do everything right in the approach but haven't learned to read a woman's signals and are afraid to push forward. They can't tell if the girl likes them or not.

The other issue is that you may, right now have a woman you like, showing you signs of interest that you are not aware of. She may not even be aware of the fact that she is showing you these signs. Maybe it's a friend who's feelings for you have begun to change, or maybe she always had feelings for you. Either way, you can't do anything about it if you don't know.

Let's make sure we avoid this mistake and learn some of these signals right away:

If you approach a group and begin a conversation with some girls, there are two questions you should be listening for. The first is "what's your name?". A follow-up question to this that would definitely indicate interest is "are you single?". Pay attention to who asks you these questions in a group situation. This is always either a sign that a girl likes you personally or likes you so much that she would recommend you to a friend.

Many times women you already know or have just met but have been getting along well with, will give you strong indicators of interest. Be on the look out for unnecessary touching in this instance. She may brush up against you on the way to the bathroom or maybe she'll put her hand on you shoulder as if she needs some help getting up off her seat. The key thing to notice in these here, is whether or not there was a need for the contact at all.

Another strong indicator of interest in you is when a woman participates in some banter and flirting with you. If there is a slight bit of tension there it's even better. When you can mock her in a fun way and she either laughs or grabs your arm or puts her head in your shoulder in embarrassment she likes you. She is letting you get away with teasing her and she's also looking for your reassurance that your only joking by putting her head on your shoulder or grabbing your arm.

How you can tell if a girl likes you in different venues is to pay attention to whats going on around you. Notice whether or not the same girls are popping up in front of you. If your in a club and a girl has made her way towards you on the dance floor she probably wants you to dance with her. If you are in a bar and a group of girls has moved closer to you for no apparent reason, they're probably ready to be opened. If a girl at the gym constantly appears to be working out close to you and goes to the gym at the same times you do, you probably have a stalker.

Group conversations provide you with a great opportunity to find out whether she is interested in you or not. If she seems to direct the conversation back to you more than anyone else then she is displaying signs of attraction. Pay special attention to what she says when she speaks and what she does when you speak. If she seems to pay more attention to you than anyone else then you're looking good. If she asks you plenty of follow-up questions to what you're saying and brings up your points when she's speaking she definitely likes and respects you more than the others.

It is always important to raise your awareness when you learn something new, so put your new tools in to practice and have fun. You'll be amazed at how good you get.

Richard is a Webmaster for Ryan Richardson's To learn more about how you can tell if a girl likes you visit

Breaking A Habit Is Easy

Your mind isn't stupid.

Changing a well ingrained habit is a challenge, but it can be done. Because your brain has created such a well established pattern in your mind, it won't let go of any habit easily. Your mind will use every trick in the book to try and get you back on the path of the habit you told it to create.

Remember, your mind is only doing what you told it to do and like any good servant it keeps trying to do the job until it's done. Your mind will try a lot of ways to get you to get back on track in the habit you created. Here are just a few of those ways:

The first couple of days your mind will not notice the missing habit very much.
After a couple of days you will begin to think about going back, but you'll be able to override the thought fairly easy at this point.
After 3 or 4 days, you'll start questioning the wisdom of your choice. You'll begin asking yourself, is this really worth the effort?
By 5 or 6 days your mind will get even more creative. You'll start telling yourself that I don't really need to do this right now, why don't I just do it in the future? You'll be very tempted to cheat but you know that by cheating you will end up defeated so you stick it out.
After about a week, you will begin to find reasons to put the change off. There will be a party, you'll go out to dinner or even the fact that it's Friday night and just doing it this once won't hurt. I can start up again on Monday because there's no point trying to do it the rest of the weekend; after all, what are weekends for?

All of these temptations, logic, rationalizing and reasons are just your mind's way of trying to force you to do what you told it you wanted it to do. Your mind isn't stupid, it's going to get very creative.

The only way to change this whole picture is by doing three things:

Educate yourself about how habits are formed and the tricks your mind will use.
Maintain your focus. If you begin to think less and less about the habit change you are trying to make, your mind will exploit this weakness. You must continually remind yourself or be reminded of the habit you're trying to change during the entire 30 to 60 days it will take to permanently change the habit.
Only take on a small change at one time. If the change you're trying to make is fairly small and easy, you can overcome the resistance of your mind. If you take on too much, you will simply give in and your subconscious mind will win.

Always be aware that your mind is only doing what you told it to do for many years and that you're trying to reprogram it to do something else. Small simple changes to habits is how you break a habit the easy way and offers the best chance for success.

It you don't change your habits, your habits will make sure you never change.

My name is Larry Allen and I spent the last three years researching and analyzing why diets and exercise programs don't work to lose weight and keep it off. I have developed an alternative that does.

"It's Just A Habit" is a bold, new, simple solution to permanent weight loss. It shows how by developing 4 simple habits you can get dramatic results that are not achievable through diet and exercise alone. No diet and exercise plans, no pills, no hype and no phony promises. It's simple, it's easy and it works.

Visit our website at and discover why you haven't been able to lose weight permanently and what you can do about it. You can also join our free forum to talk about how habits rule our lives.

The Art of Refocus

Most people can focus on a goal for a short time, or even for a medium-term period - for instance, to lose twenty pounds. But how do we maintain focus or, more aptly, refocus after we've let our guard down?

For every line of resolve there is the relief of returning to what we might deem, normal life. But, for many people such a 'normal life' brings with it temptations too great.

Once the grip of resolve is lost, regaining the momentum can prove, seemingly, impossible. It's a great skill of self-control to be able to refocus.

Let's consider the following ideas that may help us rein in our desires:

1. The power of the conscious mind cannot be underestimated, or its importance to us and our goals overstated. Focus, by definition, is mindfulness, and such a state can resecure our resolve.

2. As we invest in the power to think about what we need to think about, shutting out what we shouldn't think about, we are given the keys to refocus-one day, and one moment, at a time.

3. Surely also the role of vision compels us toward success. Vision comes in many ways, from visualising the desired outcome to understanding our purpose to believing we can do something that we've never achieved before, which is also faith. Vision is fuel for refocus. The trouble is, our vision has tended to be negative and we focus on what we're missing out on rather than what we stand to achieve. The former focus delivers results that are short lived; the latter is, on the contrary, food for life.

4. As we set out on a goal it will do us a power of good to understand that the initial focus will be easier than the refocus will be if we drop the ball. This obliges us to have a safe fear for the future that will guard us on the road to achievement. This endears us to determination that will drive us forward in the balance of humility.

5. When we prove we can refocus we have mastered self-control. This is a thing that many people take for granted - God has made them with that capacity, or they have mastered the art of refocus. For many others the achievement of self-control is a lifelong, and painful, quest. Refocus must be our aim.

One of the most discouraging aspects of life is achieving something, only to lose what was achieved because focus was lost. Learning to refocus is a critical human maintenance skill. Without it we will always struggle with self-control.

The good news is we can achieve our goals, long-term, as we maintain focus by refocusing each day, and upon slips we quickly determine a fresh resolve. Our practical lives depend on refocus.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: and

Positive Thinking and How It Can Affect Your Health

There are always going to be downfalls in life, the way you deal with them will determine their outcome. The use of obstacles to grow stronger is the way that people in high efficacy handle their problems. If you suffer from depression and you do not have it treated, it could lead to suicide, states The National Alliance of Mental Illness. Depression is triggered by a number of different factors, including environmental factors, dysfunctional thinking, or a chemical imbalance in the brain. These can all cause an individual to become depressed.

The question often asked is "if your glass is half empty or half full?" The way in which you answer this question often determines your outlook on life. If your negative thinking and attitude is extreme it can even affect your health.

Hara Estroff Mano the editor of Psychology Today states that by training ourselves in cognitive thinking we can eradicate negative thinking. We can do this by changing our negative thoughts to positive thinking. This process can assist in preventing depression. In order to change how you feel you must first change the way that you think.

A study carried out by Dr Sheldon Cohen of 334 people between the ages of 18 to 34 found that those who reported frequent negative thinking caught the cold virus that was administered to them as part of the test. Those who described themselves as feeling happy did not catch the virus quickly.

A similar study was conducted by Dr Suzanne Segerstorm of 124 students studying law. She found that the participants who were given injections which formed bumps on the skin either large or small depending on the level of your immunity affected those who felt optimistic with small bumps and those who did not feel optimistic with large bumps.

These studies suggest that having a pessimistic attitude in life can have an effect on your health. However if you suffer from negative thinking there are a number thinks that you can to master the art of positive thinking.

One of the first steps on the road to positive thinking is to acknowledge that you have a problem with negative thoughts. You will then need to monitor your thoughts by writing down all negative thoughts. Seeing the thoughts face to face gives you the opportunity to challenge whether or not these thoughts are rational or not. You will then need to replace those thoughts with positive ones.

It is not going to be easy to challenge your thought process, but you have to start somewhere. You should never underestimate the power of positive thinking and how it can change your life.

If you want more information about the power of positive thinking and how it can change your life please visit the blog of Abigail Damoah at

Minggu, 30 Oktober 2011

You Have The Power To Determine Your Future!

The other day I was making my daily entries into my abundance journal, counting my blessings and focusing on my strengths, when I began to really think just how unique and powerful we all are as human beings. I've read a book called, "The Greatest Miracle In The World" numerous times by Og Mandino, which basically reminds us in a very deep and almost surreal style, that we human beings are all "Miracles" and actually have the power within each of us to determine our future.

If most people would focus or pay more attention to the awesome skills and strengths they possess and use on a daily basis, they would begin to realize they already have the power to choose and determine their future. It is true that none of us can determine what situations or obstacles may occur, however, what distinguishes us from the animal kingdom, is the ability to think and make choices, as oppose to just acting on instinct. Just take some time and reflect on the power, both physical and mental, we humans possess and why it is without a doubt in my mine, that we all have the power within us to choose how to react to any and every situation or obstacle.

It is said that we only use a small percentage of our mental capacity, supposedly 10 percent or less, and if so look at all of the advances in our world that has been created. If you pay attention to most media reports about the economy and how bad it is, you will also hear that most people are waiting for the government or their employer to make their personal financial situation better. Our government does have the responsibility to provide a financial safety net for the needy and of course most employees need and believe they deserve a pay increase, however, most people already have the power within themselves to totally change their financial destiny.

Let's refer back to Og Mandino's "The Greatest Miracle In The World" and take a count of the miraculous blessings that empower us to determine our future. GOD, the Almighty Creator, has given us the "power" of Sight, Hearing, Thought, Love, Will, Imagination, Creativity, Prayer, Healing, and Choice. If we focus our attention on the blessings we all are given and count them with gratitude, we would understand the unique individual skills and talents each and every one of us possess. There are approximately 5 to 6 billion people on the planet Earth, and there has never been or never will be anyone exactly like you. You have unique skills and talents to offer this world that no one else can offer, and as it is said "to whom much is given, much is required".

When each and every one of us consider the skills and talents we use on a daily basis, in our personal and business lives, and take the time to think of all the variety of ways we could offer our services to others, we would begin to really understand how we have the choice and power to decide our own destiny. We do not have to depend upon any government or a job to determine what kind of life we will live on this earth.

We have been given so many blessings and opportunities to determine our own fate, including the power to "choose" which direction we want our life to go, why should anyone give their "power" away to some job or government? Make your decision today to take control of your life and destiny, by counting your blessings; paying attention to your strengths and uniqueness; and choosing to use your unique skills to determine your own future. Do not give your "Power" away! I love sharing my thoughts with all of you.

Your Partner In Success!

Darcel Dobbins

If Your Upline Does Not Have a Step-By-Step Blueprint For Success, Check This Out (Unless You Already Have Too Many Leads),

Are You Listening To Your Own Voice?

I can't tell you the number of clients who have a great idea they want to implement in their business, or they'd like to expand their business, or perhaps sign up for a program that they know will absolutely take them to the next level in their business. They are so excited, and you know when you talk with them about their idea or expansion or program-it will absolutely work-you can just feel it through their own excitement.

But then they come back a week later, all deflated because their spouse, their mother, father, friend, cousin, et cetera gave them their own opinion and said "it wouldn't work", or laughed at the idea, or said something like, "oh, you're always just chasing the next thing shiny object".

Or what about the clients that I speak with who tell me they wished they had majored in art versus accounting, or taken a job in the South versus staying in the Northeast, or that they had followed their heart and married their college sweetheart, rather than their spouse. The list goes on and on.

So what's the common denominator that prevented them from following their heart? They listened to the "noise of other's opinion's rather than their own inner voice".

This week I had the opportunity to reconnect with a young, but VERY successful entrepreneur, Ry Russell. Ry is the Vice President of VR Marketing Consultants in Portland, Maine. This year he has been a part of three different start ups consisting of the Saco Drive In Theater, TxTWave, and VR Marketing. This past summer, Ry and two partners had the opportunity to take over the failing drive-in movie theatre in a small southern Maine town. During his due diligence period, he met with ten well-respected people to get their opinion on whether he should take on this venture. Eight out of the ten told him to "FORGET ABOUT IT!"

Fortunately, Ry listened to his inner voice, made a very detailed business plan, raised the money needed and went for it! And oh, by the way, he increased sales over the previous year by well over 25% and was able to pay back the entirety of their debt three weeks ahead of schedule!

It's so important to listen to your inner voice. Particularly when you feel CERTAIN that your decision or course of action or choice is absolutely aligned with your purpose. Don't let others, or logic, talk you out of (or in to) something that doesn't feel right to you. Trust your instincts. We all have levels of "knowing" that can't be explained by logic. Don't ignore that little voice in your head. Develop it by paying attention to it and act accordingly. So what's the one thing your inner voice has been trying to tell you for some time, that you are now ready to listen to and TAKE ACTION ON???

Mandy Schumaker, President of Higher Performing People, is a former sales and management executive in the newspaper industry, who has extensive experience in executive coaching, leadership development, sales and marketing, facilitation and team building. She has a gift for helping executives and entrepreneurs maintain their focus and hold themselves and others accountable, which in turn helps them to become more effective, productive leaders. Mandy can be reached at or 207-653-6977

Things You Are Not Supposed To Think Of

The human brain is such a big storage for ideas that sometimes it makes an individual think so much. Thinking can be good! The brain gets challenged and the individual becomes more analytical in his thinking. Good thoughts make man happy and healthy. On the other hand, unpleasant thoughts make man unhappy, unhealthy and basically unproductive. Although having unpleasant thoughts can't be avoided, an individual has the choice whether to continue thinking of an idea or not. Some of the things which a person should not think of are the following:

1. Things that destroy the core beliefs. The core beliefs of a person are those which he strongly holds on to as a result of his personal experiences that developed over time. The core beliefs are the basis for his action, reaction and non-reaction in his every circumstance. Things that destroy the core beliefs bring confusion and indecision. Although change is good, a person must know which of his beliefs need to be changed. If your core beliefs make you a better person, stick to it!

2. Things that bring worry and fear. Worry and fear are both negative emotions. But the cause for worry and fear may be a legitimate problem. If this is the case, then the best thing to do is analyze the problem and find a solution for it. If a solution can't found for the time being, then it is not worth thinking of for a while. Eventually a solution can be found when it is least expected. There are other things you can do. Don't let worry and fear bind you!

3. Things that bring sadness. As one of the basic emotions, temporary sadness can be an experience of feeling helpless. When one feels sad, he can cry and sob despite the disapproval of other people. But the feeling should not dwell in the person's heart. A man must not say that tears won't stop flowing out from his eyes. It's a choice that he won't stop crying. Remember that sobbing don't make a man helpless. Being sad sometimes just shows the human side of a person. Some people say that when you experience sadness then you will have the opportunity to experience happiness. So, be sad for a moment then be happy!

4. Things that cause anger. Anger is an emotion which shows intolerance of an ill-treatment. Anger may be an impulsive reaction for self-preservation. It may also be a reaction to an unfair treatment. And there is anger which results from offense on the character of the individual. Please don't ask me about the anger of Jesus in John 2:12-25. That's a different story. But like sadness, anger should not dwell in the heart. Anger makes an individual lose control. Most of the times, the sudden rage makes a person do unlawful acts. And it can forever change to a life full of regrets. The mind is over the heart. Simply put, reason should take control over the emotion!

5. Things which are annoying. Sources of annoyance may be a person or something which causes trouble or irritation and eventually makes another person unhappy. Before you get annoyed by a person with what he does, try to see if it's unintentional and just an honest mistake. It is possible that it is your fault you feel that way. When you are sure that it's not about you, don't get mad at the person. Feel sorry for him for he may need help. A person getting annoyed should stay calm. It would be better if he can laugh about it. Remember what other people say... laughter is the best medicine!

Avoid thinking of these things. It may be difficult but not impossible. Don't let these things stress you out. Time is valuable and irrecoverable. Spend time wisely and think happy thoughts... always!

How To Get Someone To Trust You In 4 Easy Steps

If you want to know how to get someone to trust you, then I have good news for you. If you're just about to earn someone's trust for the first time, then you'll be happy to know that it is easy to do so.

But if you've somehow broken somebody's trust and are now hoping to get it back, that's another matter entirely. Nevertheless, I will address both situations in this article.

If you want to know how to get someone to trust you (or trust you again), here are 4 simple steps to help you out.

Step 1: Avoid Faking Anything.

The first step on how to gain somebody's trust is to be sincere from the start. Don't hold anything back that might jeopardize the relationship.

For example, if you're dating somebody, it's important that you tell him or her if you come with strings attached. The first date, of course, might not be the best time to do so; but if you've been on more than one date and you really like the other person, then you need to reveal the real you slowly but surely.

Having had a previous marriage, for example, is something your date might want to know. So is having a child or having some sort of disorder.

Step 2: Tell A Third Party Something Nice About The Person.

When we compliment or say something nice to someone, the person may perceive that we have a hidden agenda. The solution? Tell their friend or relative something great about them.

When you don't say it directly to your target person, and they get to know your compliment from someone else, it significantly increases your value and trustworthiness in their eyes.

Step 3: Stop Overpromising.

If you've already broken somebody's trust, then you need to earn it back by keeping to your word. Stop overpromising things just because you're desperate to get someone to trust you again.

Breaking another promise will only make things worse. Come clean and tell the other person exactly what is going on in your life. Only say something when you really mean it. It's not always a smooth conversation, but you'd be surprised to find out just how liberating it can be.

Step 4: Be Patient.

Trust is not something you can rush. If you want to know how to get someone to trust you or trust you again, you need to give that person time and space.

Don't be in their face all the time and don't ask that person outright whether they trust you or not. Let things fall into place in their own time. Being trusted can be easily achieved the first time around, but a person still needs time to process everything.

Now that you know how to get someone to trust you, I hope that you'll put it to good use. Once trust has been bestowed, you must not do anything to jeopardize it. Once you do, however, you'll have to work twice as hard to earn it back again.

Want to know how to persuade people (even the most difficult ones) to do what you want? Get a FREE course that reveals some of the most groundbreaking persuasion and communication secrets at

Wondering Where Those Blankets Came From

The past, with its pleasures, its rewards, its foolishness, its punishments,

is there for each of us forever, and it should be.

~Lillian Hellman~

Last Saturday, Carol, Matt and I took refuge in Lillian Hellman's overturned cabana on Gay Head Beach in Martha's Vineyard. The wind drove sand into our faces and clothes. Without the cabana, our stay on the beach would not have lasted five minutes.

The cabana listed more and more each year I visited the Vineyard, our own little version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. This year the cabana lay flat on its face, ripped from its moorings by the wind. We crawled in through the opening where the floor once stood, unfolded our army blankets and made our nest for the afternoon.

None of us knew exactly what took place there over the years. I imagined Lillian drinking wine with Dashiell Hammett and her Vineyard friends. She died before I ever set foot on Martha's Vineyard and I could find no account of her time in the cabana. The only evidence of any recent activity was one pair of abandoned panties and a lone flip-flop. Somehow I imagine Lillian would appreciate of these artifacts.

For years the blankets lay in wait at St. Jerome Hospital for disaster use, but to my knowledge never came into service. They dated back to World War II. I wondered whether they always formed part of the reserves or whether they saw combat action. Could they have kept my uncle warm at night as his infantry truck rumbled from one European war zone to another?

Who knows what the blankets could tell us? Did war soak them in soldiers' blood? Did they remain behind in the relative comfort of Army barracks? Did they make their way directly to disaster readiness in the hospital after the war? Or did they serve as veterans in an Army/Navy store such as The Army Barracks beckoning to customers on Circuit Avenue in Oak Bluffs from 1980 to 2004? Their secrets lay in their folds. Grist for my fantasies.

Our short time in Martha's Vineyard drew to a close all too soon as we waited in the stand-by line for the ferry to Woods Hole and our trek home. I recounted the people I met over the past few days, their stories and their adventures. I watched the Island Home unload passengers, cars and trucks. Who was here to explore the Vineyard for the first time? Who returned home from a weekend on the mainland? Who toted their lunch on the way to work in one of the many tourist shops? They all carry their stories with them, no more forthcoming than the blankets now safely stowed in our trunk.

Martha's Vineyard differs little from any other place in the world at least in one respect. Everyone arriving and leaving carries a rich history of experiences shaping their lives and forming the context for their future adventures. I feel fortunate to form part of the convoy of story-keepers.

Life Lab Lessons
What stories do your fellow life travelers carry with them?Do you take time to ask about their stories?What stories define you?How do they shape your life direction?Relish the shared treasury of life experience.

Joseph G. Langen is the author of Commonsense Wisdom for Everyday Life, Young Man of the Cloth, The Pastor's Inferno and Navigating Life: Commonsense Reflections for the Voyage. He also distributes a free newsletter on commonsense wisdom topics, Sliding Otter News. Learn more about his writing and publishing through Sliding Otter Publications at:

Contact him at:

Packaging Your Negative Emotions

Though common to everyone, negative emotions are a peculiar aspect of the human experience. Without deep thought or concentration we can become subject to the ride each one decides to take us on -and often when we arrive, it is contrary to our planned destination. An effective goal is to be in control of these feelings so as to increase your conscious decision making power in your everyday life.

Yes, you do get to choose how you feel! Just as in our physical life we are empowered by organization, this process of carefully arranging emotions supports wellness and emotional power. Here is how it is done.

The first rule of the process is to organize your negative feelings into the two bags: home and visiting.

Home emotions are those you generate and execute when you are alone or with family and friends. These emotions may be more intense, frequent and even unpredictable. After all you are as close to restriction-free as you will ever be in life. Often, in at least one of these environments you are safe to make mistakes, grow and be vulnerable without permanent negative, repercussions.

These emotions will also be tied to events in your personal life that make imprints on who you are or become. They deserve quality at home exploration time. The loss of a valued relationship is very rarely easy, but it does not always have to be impassable. At home or with another trusted person, explore the event. Expose your anger, disappointment, confusion, with a view to moving healthily forward.

Then in a calm space positively plan what happens for you next. But deal with the emotions you feel as they are real and precious to your existence. Remember that these are home emotions and home emotions never leave home. They are like furniture. Unless an important person comes to your intimate residence they have no idea of the exact d├ęcor.

This brings us to the visiting emotions. They are your safe, public-display, genuine emotions. Controlling these emotions can be easier than those in the home bag. You may share these with strangers, co-workers, and even adversaries. Here, however, they are less intense and often consequence driven.

The dual focus here is honesty and boundaries. It may not be wise to expect to have the same safe outcome you experience with those in your home emotion bag, if you share deep levels of emotions with others you know very little about.

The key is not to carry these emotions with you as you travel to each place. Leave each emotion in its natural environment. There is enough emotion at each venue to keep you occupied. Bringing the home emotion to the visiting venue, or vice versa often ends in more negative emotions to repackage.

Kamis, 27 Oktober 2011

How to Deal With Passive Aggressive People Easily

How to Deal With Passive Aggressive People Easily
Passive aggressive people can be very difficult to deal with, but this doesn't mean it's impossible to cope with this personality type. Whether it is a relative a friend or a colleague that possesses this personality follow some of the tips below to appropriately live, work or be around this type of person.

My first tip is to simply avoid any kind of power struggle as you will never win. As I'm sure you are aware an argument, heated debate or conflict of interests can lead to a complete locking of horns where you are left feeling frustrated and at a loss over and over again. If an argument can't be avoided or other discussion begins to get a little heated, always try to remain calm especially when you speak and demonstrate this with a relaxed and polite tone of voice. Also try to see the argument from their point of view and let them know that you understand their opinion, this can really help soothe matters and end any aggressive moments quickly.
Always try to be the best communicator that you can be when talking with someone. Ask them how they would solve a problem or how they would improve a situation. By doing this you are allowing them to voice their opinions without them having to shout you down first, it's similar to you giving someone space when they need it. Dance with them don't fight them!

When it comes to negative or even hurtful comments it's important that you continue to remain calm, consistent and respond only with positive comments yourself. For every negative comment an aggressive person makes respond with 2 positive comments.
Sometimes passive aggressive people can respond with more intensity than needed, even to a simple suggestion or constructive advice. To avoid this problem try not to bring in your own judgements or evaluations. Instead talk about the impact a situation is having on other people and the impact it's having on you. This way you're not accusing anyone of any wrong doing but merely outlining what's happening and the effects that are occurring.

A great tip to deal with such people either at home or at work is to give tasks that are straightforward and not over complicated. These can be tasks that you know they are good at and tasks you know they will succeed at, allowing them to feel successful and positive as much as possible. Doing this will allow all people involved to avoid as much confrontation and negativity as possible. For more tips on how to deal with all kinds of positive or negative people, visit this website - Life Coach London. Could this information improve your personal and work life simultaneously?

Jumat, 21 Oktober 2011

Remember To Think Before You Speak

A lot of heartache and pain has occurred because of what we have said without thinking before we voiced our opinion. It has caused damage to others as well as to us. When words go out of our mouth, it is gone forever and can never be taken back.
I am reminded in court cases when a statement is strike and the judge would instruct the jurors to strike what was said, they might be able to disregard it but they heard it and it is imprinted in their mind. Lawyers would do this intentionally to sway the jurors to their side even when they know what they have said would be strike. Therefore, words make impressions and we should be careful how we use it.

It is not that important to give an answer as soon as we are questioned so take a few seconds to think about what you want to say and then say it the way it should be spoken.

It is not wise to speak the first thing that comes to our mind in fact; it could make us look foolish if we would speak too soon without thinking. If we would do that then it could cause for an explanation and often time, we might not have one.

Matthew 10:19 says but when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak, for it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak. If we would take a second or two before we speak, the right words would come to us because the Holy Spirit will direct us as to what to say but we would need some time to listen to Him. We cannot listen when we are speaking.
We are wise if we think before we speak because it can avoid calamity. I have heard people just talking without a thought as to what they are saying, everything is running together and nothing is making any sense. What has happen is they have gotten bogged down in what they are saying and is looking for a way out without sounding foolish but by then, it is usually too late.

In a conversation, there are at least two persons involved and sometimes both want to speak at the same time but as a rule of good manner allow the other person to speak first, listen to him and carefully give a reply to what is said. We do not want to offend because we can lose a friendship or a relationship if an offense happens. In addition, if we would think before we speak others might catch on and do the same because normally we would not get into trouble by speaking suddenly. We could end up being role models to others without trying.

People watch the way we speak and react so it is a good idea to remember to think before we speak.
Remember to Think Before You Speak: By Lizzie Ducking
I am a Christian, wife, mother and grandmother. I enjoy helping and encouraging others. I am South Delta School District PTO President, Parent Supporter Task Force President and a member of the Parent Leadership Institute. My main hobbies are reading and writing books or articles.

My website is: I sell a variety of Christian Products such as E-books, Poems, and Teachings. Free weekly Devotions. Inspirational products like Crosses, Bible covers, Plaques, Figurines and more.

Feeling Good - 10 Great Tips

Imagine what it would be like if you could feel great when ever you wanted to no matter what was going on in your life. What would it be like if you could feel excited just by using your imagination.

How are you feeling right now? Are you feeling good or are you feeling bad. Either way, you can change how you feel fairly quickly. Did you know that the way you feel is determined by the thoughts you have. If you have mostly negative thoughts then you will mostly have a negative mood. If on the other hand you have mostly good thoughts then you will be in a happy positive mood most of the time. Did you know that you have the ability to have the thoughts that you want. So why choose negative thoughts when you can have positive thoughts that make you feel good.

Here are ten thoughts you can have that will make you feel great. Go through these exercises and notice how you feel.

1: Calm and relaxed.
Think of a time when you felt calm and relaxed. If you can't remember a specific time, just imagine a situation where you would be calm and relaxed. Think about where you were you were, and what you were doing. Now imagine being there now. Imagine seeing what you were seeing, hearing what you were hearing, and feeling how relaxed you were feeling, and breath the way you were breathing. Notice where the feeling of relaxation is in your body. Now spend a few minutes or longer if you want closing your eyes and enjoying that relaxing feeling. Close your eyes and enjoy the moment.

2: Excitement.
Can you remember a time when you were excited? Could be a Christmas morning when you were a child, a time you went on holiday, a great night out or something else. Have you got one. Good. Now again imagine stepping into yourself and seeing through your eyes as you experience this excitement again. Hear what you sere hearing, and feel what you were feeling. Now make the colours brighter and richer, make the picture bigger, make the sounds louder and clearer, and let that feeling of excitement intensify. Notice where the feeling of excitement is strongest in your body. Give the feeling a colour, and move that colour up to the top of your head, and down to the tip of your toes. Double the brightness, multiply the brightness by ten. Do this a few times, and see how excited you can get. Agh. Stand up and move about when doing this if you want to.

3: Giggles.
Can you remember a time when you had a fit of the giggles? A time when you were laughing uncontrollably and couldn't stop. Where were you, What made you laugh so much, were you smoking something. Again step into the situation, and go through all the same procedure as above. Imagine everything that happened and the reason why you were laughing. Remember the sound of laughter, the look on other peoples faces. I got the giggles at a funeral when I was about ten. Not appropriate I know, but I couldn't help myself. Don't judge me!

4: Amazement.
Can you remember a time when you saw something amazing? Could be seeing a performance on stage, seeing something from nature that was amazing. I remember seeing fork lightning from above on a plain coming from Corfu, and seeing the stars from a yacht in Germany. Again imagine being there and go through all the senses. Enjoy the moment as if you were there again. Take a few minutes to enjoy it again.

5: Performance:
Go back to a time when you were performing at your best. This could be a work situation, a sport, a performance, or even a social situation, or anything else. When people are at their best it's usually when they are not thinking consciously about it. It's just happening. You can go through this one just before you have to perform at your best in a future situation. Just imagine what you were like at your best just before you have to do what you are doing.

6: Achievement:
Can you think of something that you have achieved that you are proud of? It can be a small thing like finishing off a small task to a big achievement like winning something. Again go through the process of being in that situation, and enjoy the achievement again. You deserve it. I remember the time I completed a marathon in Edinburgh. The adrenalin rush I felt as I saw the finishing line, and heard the crowd cheering was amazing. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

7: Love:
Are you in love with someone at the moment. If not can you remember a time when you were. Imagine a moment when you felt that feeling of love. What was it about that person that made you feel that way? What were you doing, what was being said, how did you feel?. Where did you feel that feeling. Again give that feeling a colour, spread the feeling through your body and multiply the brightness. Enjoy that feeling again.

8: Fantasy:
The memories you create in your head don't have to be real. Imagine something that you would like to happen in your wildest dreams. This can be anything you want. It could be winning the world cup, winning an Oscar. If you have a dirty mind that's ok. It's your fantasy nobody will know. Treat it like it was a real memory. Go into that fantasy, really imagine being there. Really vamp up whats going on. Maker everything bigger, brighter, louder. Make it brilliant. Really enjoy being there. Vamp up the feeling as well. I have some that I can't discuss. I always wanted to win the world snooker championship. That's my clean one.

9: Future Goals:
Do you have a goal that you want to achieve. If not, think of something you would really love to do. Treat this like the memories you have already had. All achievements start with thoughts. Imagine what you would see when you achieve one of your goals. Imagine being where you would be, seeing what you would see, and the feeling you would have. Really get involved in this one. Make it a real as you can. Vamp up the feelings, enjoy the moment. After you have done this go and take some action to making it happen.

10: Anything Else:
This list could go on for ever. Write a few of your own. Write as many as you can. Keep a hold of this list and when ever you want to feel great go through them and do the exercises. Enjoy.
Well I'm sure you are feeling pretty good right now. It's amazing what you can do with your mind when you know how. As well as using your memories to make you feel good you can also use simple techniques to make remembering facts easier. Imagine you could easily remember information for exams, names and faces of clients, and even have the ability to remember a pack of playing cards in order as a party piece. Find out more. Sign up for my 10 free memory lessons at

What You Ought To Do To Have A Healthier Diet To Enjoy Retirement

In order to enjoy a great retirement you must have two things. Stable Finances and good health. Good health begins with a healthy diet. It's easier said than done starting to eat a new diet that's healthier. Having a healthy diet and meal regimen is not so difficult to set up, but is very hard to maintain on a continuous basis. There are a variety of reasons for this, but sometimes people just don't stop to consider how important this is to your long term well being. Your overall diet can improve dramatically by implementing some of the strategies that we are about to present in this article.

It's hardly a secret that eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grain is good for you, yet many people still don't do it. The problem is, many people just don't find these foods as tempting as less healthy choices. If you simply plan your meals to be based on the healthy foods then adding in some more unhealthy foods isn't a problem. To put it in other words, think about eating more healthy foods each day, rather than removing all of the foods you love. If you begin to consume more vegetables, whole grains and fruits then you will have less space for the things like sweets, unhealthy snacks and carbohydrates. You may not believe this but your taste for healthy foods develops with the more healthy foods you eat, so it's possible to increase your choices after some time.

Putting extra effort into cooking at home will be a huge help in trying to eat healthier. While eating out at restaurants is easy and really good, it's hard to be good about watching your calorie intake. You will have all the control to prepare what you want and will know exactly what's in it. A whole new world of cooking will open up to you once you realize you can tweak any recipe at home with the ingredients you want. This can also be extremely nice on your wallet. It might take some scheduling work to make cooking at home easier, but it's worth it. If you have a busy week ahead, try taking time on Saturday to prepare meals so you have no excuse to eat out.
Including super-foods into your diet is a good way of eating in a way that's more healthy. Foods that are exceptionally high in nutrition are called super-foods This means that you needn't eat them in large amounts to get the benefits from them. You can get them as foods from the supermarket or a health food store, and you can also get them in the form of a supplement. Included are green foods like, chlorella and spirulina, wheatgrass, noni, goji berry and juices such as acai. You can find many other super-foods as well if you start looking into it. Foods that are rather common, like yogurt, barley, beans and nuts are being considered by many experts to be super-foods

Most people like to gradually change their diet rather than try it all at once. While you may want to see changes fast, the only way to make it stick is to start implementing small changes. For example, you could start bringing healthier snacks and lunch from home rather than buying less healthy junk foods outside. All small steps will add up and show you how easy it was to start being healthier.
Retirement strategies can be a stressful business. Sometimes the best course is not the most apparent and you might waste valuable time saving on pointless schemes that never come to fruition. As such, some people hire financial advisors or simply apply for a government pension scheme, never looking for getting the most of their money since they're not aware of any better options. The real truth of the matter is that retirement plans work only if you catch them early, Plan them well and have discipline when it comes to spending and saving.

Not only do you need good health but healthy finances. Before you go out and buy a policy go to Long Term Care Insurance, ask questions and request a long term care insurance quote. We represent 20 of the top LTCi providers. This gives you tremendous options.

Faith or Fear - Which One Guides Your Heart?

Faith is the evidence of things not seen, yet believed. The acronym of fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real.

We have been created in God's image and we have infinite potential. I think often times we skim over what I just wrote not realizing the power behind the words. Let me share it once more: We have infinite potential!

Fear and Insecurity

Throughout life we place limits on our own selves by allowing doubt and fear to stand right in the middle of what we desire in our heart. Every time we do this, we are repelling gifts and blessings that God wants to bring to us.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Words like, "fear of lack" or "fear of failure", "fear of sickness", "fear of loss" and an overall feeling of insecurity can place our faith on hold while fear takes over.

It is essential to substitute faith in lieu of fear so we can enjoy the abundance that is ours by Divine right.

Small Steps Dispel Fear

The first step is to believe that we deserve the very best. We must claim it and believe it. Our Universe is abundant therefore WE are abundant. As we are changing our thoughts and our mental vision, we are changing our reality. We begin to retain our way of thinking and reframing how we look at our past. I call this step, "clearing the clutter."

Making small shifts in how you think and the words that you say is the beginning of transferring a negative thought into a positive one. For example: Instead of saying, "I can't afford it"; you may select a phrase like: "I choose not to purchase that right now". (You are altering your thoughts from lack to plentiful.) Faith will continue to guide your heart as you yield your thoughts and feelings to that of abundance.

Here's another example: Instead of saying, "I don't have...." try saying something like "I'm looking forward to having...."

Faith Guides You

As you shift your mindset to focus on what you DO want, speaking it, claiming it and believing it with such conviction, this is where automatically shifts will occur. Positive vibrational changes are happening and your life is taking the shape and moving in the direction you have created it to go. You are tuned into what you are requesting and it feels good as you witness the miracles unfolding before your very eyes.

We attract what we are focused on and what we are thinking about; so it is very important to make sure the focus that you are giving your attention to is what you want. Also, keeping the positive vibe is essential.

As you are reading this article, my prayer is that it will open your heart to receive and allow that child-like faith to guide you through your walk in life.

In doing so, you will be able to achieve your desires without worry. Worry is accepting responsibility God never intended you to have.

We should not get caught up in the how's or the why's of life. We are to trust with an unwavering faith and just believe that the rest is being taken care of, because it is.

Think of yourself on a balance beam. As long as you are looking straight ahead, you are walking in a straight line. Once you look down, you fall!

Whatsoever you ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.

May faith always guide your heart....

Alice Hocker invites you to join in and share your thoughts at
Living life in abundance feels so very good. You can live this life everyday! My desire is that you acquire the "super-conscious level" of living because it will change everything in your life... You will see EVERYTHING in a new and refreshing way!

With that said, add your comments... Let's get this party started!!! Your comments will be the music we need to dance to....
I look forward to hearing from you!

Senin, 17 Oktober 2011

Quote about Patience, Perseverance & Prayer

“Nay, seek (Allah’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard, except to those who bring a lowly spirit, Who bear in mind the certainty that they are to meet their Lord, and that they are to return to Him. ” [Quran 2:45-46]

"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives, and the fruits of your toil. But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, 'To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance." (2:155-157)

"Oh you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Vie in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper." (3:200)

"And be steadfast in patience, for verily Allah will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish." (11:115)

"Be patient, for your patience is with the help of Allah." (16:127)

"Patiently, then, persevere - for the Promise of Allah is true, and ask forgiveness for your faults, and celebrate the praises of your Lord in the evening and in the morning." (40:55)

"No one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune." (41:35)

"Verily man is in loss, except such as have faith, and do righteous deeds, and join together in the mutual enjoining of truth, and of patience and constancy." (103:2-3)

As Muslims, we should not let our emotions get the better of us. It is certainly difficult for a person to look at the tragedies of the world today and not feel helpless and sad. But believers are called to put their trust in their Lord, and not to fall into despair or hopelessness. We must continue to do what Allah has called us to do: put our trust in Him, perform good deeds, and stand as witnesses for justice and truth.

"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West.
But it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day, And the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; To spend of your substance, out of love for Him, For your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; To be steadfast in prayer And give in charity; To fulfill the contracts which you have made; And to be firm and patient, in pain and adversity And throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing. Qur'an 2:177

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Qur'an 94:5-6

“And be patient, indeed Allah is with the patient ones.” (8:46)

Minggu, 16 Oktober 2011

give charity every day

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Every Muslim has to give in charity." The people then asked: "(But what) if someone has nothing to give, what should he do?" The Prophet replied: "He should work with his hands and benefit himself and also give in charity (from what he earns)." The people further asked: "If he cannot find even that?" He replied: "He should help the needy who appeal for help." Then the people asked: "If he cannot do (even) that?" The Prophet said finally: "Then he should perform good deeds and keep away from evil deeds, and that will be regarded as charitable deeds." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 2, Hadith 524


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Shall I guide you to the best (form of) charity? It is to provide for your daughter when she (returns) to you (because of divorce or other circumstances) and has no one but you to provide for her." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1296


"Spend (in charity) out of the sustenance that We have bestowed on you before that time when death will come to someone, and he shall say: "O my Lord! If only you would grant me reprieve for a little while, then I would give in charity, and be among the righteous." - The Holy Quran, 63:10


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Save yourself from hellfire by giving even half a date-fruit in charity." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 2, Hadith 498


A man once said to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): "I have plenty of property, a large family, a great deal of money, and I am a gracious host to my guests. Tell me how to conduct my life and how to spend (my money)." The Prophet replied: "Give (regular charity) out of your property, for truly it is a purifier, and be kind to your relatives and acknowledge the rights of the poor, neighbors and (those in need who seek your help)." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 3


The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "If I had (a mountain of) gold, I would love that, before three days had passed, not a single (coin) thereof remained with me if I found somebody to accept it (as charity), excluding some amount that I would keep for the payment of my debts." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 9, Hadith 334


"They ask you (O Muhammad) what they should spend in charity. Say: 'Whatever you spend with a good heart, give it to parents, relatives, orphans, the helpless, and travellers in need. Whatever good you do, God is aware of it.'" - The Holy Quran, 2:215

Jumat, 14 Oktober 2011

The Way to Beliefe

Man revives according to what he carries of thought about man, life and the universe, and about their relationship, as a whole, with what preceded this life and what comes after it. Hence, in order for man to revive it is necessary to radically and omprehensively change his current thought and generate another thought for him. This is because it is the thought that generates the concepts about things and consolidates them. Man shapes his behaviour in this life according to his concepts about it. So, man's concepts about a person he likes shapes his behaviour towards him. This is in contrast with his behaviour towards a person he dislikes and holds concepts of hatred. Also he will exhibit different behaviour towards a person he does not know or holds any concepts about. So, human behaviour is linked to man's concepts and when we wish to change the behaviour of the declined man and make it refined, it is imperative to change his concepts first.

The only way to change man's concepts is by generating thought about this life in order to set up the correct concepts about it. Thought about this life will not be productively consolidated unless the thought about man, life and the universe and about what preceded this life as well as what comes after this life, and its relationship with what is before and after it, is generated. This can be achieved by giving the comprehensive idea about man, life and the universe, because it is the intellectual basis upon which all ideas about this life are built. Giving this comprehensive thought about these matters is the solution to man's greatest problem. Once this problem is solved all other problems are solved, because they are either partial compared to the main problem or branch from it. This solution wouldn't lead to the correct revival , unless it is a true solution which is compatible with man's innate natureand convinces the mind and thus fills the heart with tranquillity.

The true solution cannot be reached except through the enlightened thought about the universe, man and life. Consequently, those who yearn for revival and pursue the path of elevation, must first solve this problem in a correct manner by utilising enlightened thought. This solution is none other than the ‘aqeedah which serves as the intellectual basis uponwhich every detailed thought about man's behaviour and the systems ofthis life are built. Islam addressed the greatest problem and solved it in a manner that agrees with man's nature, convinces his mind, and fills his heart with tranquillity. Islam made the rational acceptance of this solution a condition for embracing it. Therefore, Islam is built upon one basis, i.e. the ‘aqeedah, which states there is behind man, life and the universe a creator, who created all of them and created everything.

The fact that He is a Creator makes it necessary that He is not created and that His existence is indispensable, because all things depend for their existence on Him and He does not depend on anything. The reason that things must have a creator, is because the things which are comprehensible by the mind that is man, life, and the universe, are limited, weak, imperfect, and are in need for something other than themselves. Man is limited, because he grows in every aspect to a certain limit that he cannot surpass, so he is limited. Life is limited, because it manifests itself only in individuals, and what is noticed by the senses is that it is concluded with the individual, thus it is limited. The universe is limited, because it is the sum of celestial bodies, and each body is limited; and the sum of limited things is self-evidently limited. Thus, man, life, and the universe are definitely limited. When we ponder on the limited (thing), we see that it is not azali (eternal - limitless), otherwise it would not have been limited, and therefore, it must be created by something else, which is the Creator of man, life and the universe. This Creator, is either created by someone else, creator of himself, or azali (eternal - limitless) whose existence is indispensable (wajib ul-wujood). It is absolutely false that he is created by someone else, because he would then be limited. It is also false that he is the creator of himself and could not be rationally considered as the Creator. As for being self-created, the ramification of which would be he is created by himself and creating himself simultaneously. This is simply absurd. Hence, the creator must be azali (eternal - limitless) whose existence is indispensable. He is Allah.

Anyone who has the mental faculty can comprehend from things that can be sensed that they have a creator. This is because what is noticed in all of them is that they are imperfect, weak and dependent, so they are definitely created. Therefore, it is sufficient to draw one's attention to anything in the universe, life and man to conclude from that the existence of the Creator and Organiser. Hence, looking at any celestial body of the universe, contemplating upon any facet of life, or comprehending any aspect of man, indicates definitely of the existence of Allah . Therefore, we see that the Qur’an draws attention to these things and instructs man to ponder upon them, their surroundings, and what is related to them, and to conclude from his pondering the existence of Allah . Thus man looks at things how they are in need of other things, so he definitely concludes from this the existence of Allah. Taqiyudin An Nabhani. The System Of Islam. Khilafah Publication.

The Existence of God

Questions of the nature of God, and the existence of Hell, Paradise, or
Angels, cause us some difficulty, because we cannot perceive them, one of
the criteria listed above. Is it possible to prove their existence despite our
non-perception of them? Let us start with the existence of God. As
outlined earlier the existence of God can be proven by contemplating upon
all known things, and deducing that they are all limited and dependant. The
sum of all limited and dependant things is limited or finite and all finite
things have a beginning and end. All finite things must have been created,
as an external force is required to move something into a state of existence.

All dependant things are not self-sustaining, they therefore require a force
to sustain them, and they do not exist of their own accord. The force we
have identified, through rational proof, we have called God or Allah. This
proof has come through examining all within our perception therefore
meets our limit of perception criteria. The fact that God is infinite and selfsubsistent,
and we cannot perceive Gods nature or description is not of
concern in proving Gods existence. And to spend time trying to perceive
what we cannot is counter productive and will not lead to ‘peace of mind’.
We have intellectually brought a convincing argument for the existence of
God. We must also examine if this agrees with mans nature. Man has
certain instincts and organic needs, the satisfaction of which he constantly
strives for. The organic needs are for food and drink, without which man
will die.

Instincts can be categorised as three: Survival or self preservation,
Procreation or sexual, and Religiousness. We can see clearly certain
manifestations or traits in man reflecting his desire to satisfy these instincts.
Thus man acquires goods and nice objects, likes to own property, wants a
job and income, can be greedy, and may save for the future, in attempting
to satisfy his instinct for survival. Similarly compassion, affection, love,
marriage, and sexual tendencies are expressions of the procreational
instinct in man. The desire to worship, sanctify, revere or approach
something of greater power or influence is part of man’s instinct of

In a highly material and secular world many would deny the instinct of
religiousness in man. The facts disagree with this opinion. Even in the
most avowed of atheist societies, such as Communist Russia, where the
creed of Communism denies the existence of a Creator we find busts and
statues of men prominently displayed in order to satisfy man’s desire to
look up to something greater than him. Man has gone in some societies
from the worship of the Creator to the worship of men like Lenin or Marx.
In the West the situation is no different with man often worshipping or
revering politicians, influential businessmen, celebrities, Royalty, or even
sports personalities. Such a situation of human worship is not ultimately
satisfying as all men are equally limited and dependant and man cannot
affect mans ultimate destiny. We see politicians and philosophers making
mistakes, businessmen at times failing, and no sportsman could alter his

If man is to satisfy his instinct for religion he should only revere that which
has control over him, and to which he will ultimately return. To worship or
sanctify the relationship with God means man has a particular focus in life,
that of acknowledging his shortcomings, and seeking guidance for all
matters in life from the only source with absolute knowledge and
understanding. To worship only the Creator, the one with absolute
knowledge and control can be the only truly satisfying form of worship, in
full agreement with man’s instinct for religion. Worship or looking up to
other men or material things like money is intellectually weak and doesn’t
satisfy our instincts.

Whilst man may believe in the existence of God through use of his
instinctive emotions, this can be unreliable and dangerous as emotions
change and can add errors to one’s beliefs and actions. In history we see
many examples of men going far astray in believing fantasies or
superstitions, or attributing human qualities to God, talking of a son of
God, God reincarnate etc. all of which is false and can lead easily to
disbelief. For this reason it is obligatory for the Muslim to believe in the
existence of God not solely through instinctive emotion, but with use of
the mind. The believer must be intellectually convinced of the existence of
God or else emotions of belief could be adversely changed. Concepts
which people are convinced of will not change unless a stronger intellectual
argument is brought, so use of the mind is required for a lasting
understanding and belief.

"Behold! in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the
alteration of night and day, these are indeed signs for men of
understanding" (Qur’an 3:190)
The Qur’an includes hundreds of verses directing man to look and
contemplate deeply upon the universe and creation, to look at its
interrelationships, and attributes which guide one to belief in the Creator,
through use of the mind and ration.

"Lo in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference
of night and day, and the ships which run upon the sea with that
which is of use to men, and the water which Allah sends down from
the sky, thereby reviving the earth after its death, and dispersing all
kinds of beasts therein, and (in) the ordinance of the winds, and the
clouds obedient between heaven and earth: are signs (of Allah’s
sovereignty) for people who have sense." (Qur’an 2:164)

The existence of God we have covered using intellectual and instinctive
arguments and by utilising all evidences within our perception. From this
position we need to question the rest of the creed (aqeeda) and challenge
the correctness of its articles. We start by examining the question of divine
guidance. What has God given us, what is the mechanism for man to solve
his problems?

Attributes of the Creator

When we contemplate upon the Creator, we deduce that it can only be either
of three things; Created by something else, Creator and created at one and the
same time, or eternal self-subsisting. To be created means that it is limited and
therefore part of the creation and therefore not the ultimate Creator. It is
absurd that something can be creating itself and exist at the same time.

Therefore the Creator can only be eternal and not dependant on anything in
any time or space. This attribute of eternity, or of infinity cannot be fully
perceived by us, man is limited and cannot perceive everything. If we hear a
knock at the door, we have a strong feeling that there is someone behind the
door, but we do not know who, we can only speculate. To speculate upon the
essence or description of the Creator is not necessary, and can only be
unproductive. We are concerned to prove the existence of a Creator, rather
than speculate upon that Creators detailed description which is in any event
beyond us.

The desire for greater understanding of something so important in our lives is
only natural. To gain greater understanding of something we cannot perceive,
and we cannot perceive something that is infinite and totally independent,
requires that we seek only verifiable data from that Creator. To speculate
about the Creator can only lead to misery and error as the unknown can not
be deduced by our limited minds.

Further, we have not yet addressed the comprehensive question, of what is
man, life, and the universe, what was before the life and what was after it, and
what is the relationship between them all. The answer to this comprehensive
question will act as the basis, or creed for all sub problems relating to life, and
act as the reference for all the complex systems of life that man implements;
social systems, economic, political, foreign policy, judicial, etc. In short this
will explain mans very purpose in life, and give us direction for true progress.
So far we have examined the existence of a Creator, what is the relationship
with the Creator ? and interrelationships with man, life, and what is after
creation ?

The Islamic Answer to Man’s Greatest Question
Islam has answered this question, by stating that man, life and the universe are
all created by a one and only Creator (God in English, Allah in Arabic) and
that before the life of the world was God, God is beyond this life and the
universe, and is eternal, and self-subsistent. After this life there will be an
ending and day of reckoning or judgement, in which man will return to his
Creator, to be followed by an everlasting existence in paradise or hell. Islam
has made the intellectual acceptance of this view a prerequisite for entering it.
We therefore should examine closely, intellectually, these points in order to
assess them, and decide upon their correctness or otherwise.

Before we continue we complete the Islamic basis or creed (aqeeda in Arabic)
upon which all problems and further questions in life will be referred. The
creed of Islam is that there is only one God that created man, angels and jinn,
Muhammad (may Gods peace be upon him) is the last in the chain of
Prophets sent from God to guide mankind, the Qur’an is the word of God
sent as guidance for all of mankind, that after this life man will be resurrected
to face judgement concerning his actions, that after judgement follows
paradise or hellfire. The Muslim (who submits to the will of God) should be
intellectually convinced of these points as irrefutable facts, if this is the case
the Muslim will guide all actions and refer all problems great and small to this
basis or creed. Islam as an ideology or complete way of life (deen in Arabic)
has this basis as given by God, and all of lifes systems emanate and are
directed from this basis.

We recall the ground rules that we need to apply to our assessment of this or
any other creed or comprehensive solution. The solution should be:
1. Comprehensive and answer the whole question leaving nothing unanswered.
2. Agreeable with reality as a fact, agreeing with man’s nature and satisfy the mind intellectually.
3. Assessed based upon our limits of perception, and not what we cannot perceive or sense.
An issue as important as the basis of our lives and how we lead them should
not be accepted without the most strenuous of examinations based upon these
criteria which can satisfy our minds and lead our hearts to contentment.

The Importance of Enlightened Thought

Just as the need for thought is important, the way one undertakes thought has
an affect upon the quality of our problem solving and behaviour. Mankind has
certain instincts and organic needs, and is constantly striving to satisfy these
needs. Man will die if the organic need for food and water is not satisfied, and
non satisfaction of the instincts of survival or procreation leads to misery.
Animals too have instincts and organic needs, but what differentiates man
from the animal is the ability to think, man progresses and satisfies his needs
after thought. Society implements rules, so we see that the survival instinct
should not be satisfied by stealing from others, or that the sexual desire cannot
be satisfied in any way we wish.

The way man approaches thought differs, thought can be relatively superficial,
deep, or enlightened. The superficial thinker tends to judge based upon a brief
look and makes decisions without understanding. Deep thought, on the other
hand, examines the reality in great detail; once it is understood it is then
judged. Through enlightened thought man not only understands the reality,
but also all that relates to it, and only then does he judge it. So the person that
buys the first colourful table that appeals to his sense of fashion is thinking
superficially, whereas the man that studies the type of wood, veneer and
construction of the table thinks deeply. It is only the man that takes into
account these factors and his use of the table, the size of room it will fit, and
his budget that uses enlightened thought.

Man will satisfy his needs and instincts through use of any of the three types
of thought, but it is use of enlightened thought that takes into account the
reality, previous information and all that relate to them that holds the future
success for us. The view that any man holds all answers and can decide all for
himself is shallow in that it does not recognise man’s limitations, or does not
take into account all in man’s environment or links with the past and future.
Similarly to look deeply and categorise man merely as flesh and bone and
observe how the environment or nature has changed does not address the
beginning of man, and his relationship to the rest of life. Only enlightened
thought can provide a comprehensive answer and we should spare nothing in
looking for the answers we need.

The Thinking Man

Mankind progresses through thought. The most important factor affecting our
actions in life is the thoughts we believe in and carry. Without thought man
drifts aimlessly from situation to situation, waiting for things to happen, rather
than initiating action and progressing.

Man needs to take a comprehensive view of what we are, and how we should
fit into the scheme of life in its entirety. Man not only is interested in finding a
solution to these basic questions, but needs to take a view in order to have a
reference point for all problems he faces. In short man needs an ideology or
complete way of life to believe in and to regulate his affairs.

There are answers available to these most fundamental of questions of who we
are, why we are here and how do we relate to life not only now but life before
us and life in the future. The challenge facing us is to exercise our minds to
their full capability in finding the correct solution, a solution that can be tested
against reality, and ration, and will be comprehensive for all circumstances.
Only in the adoption of a comprehensive thought and ideology will mankind
both individually and collectively have peace of mind and a solid foundation
upon which he is freed up to truly progress. Society needs a way of life to
which all problems can be referred and solutions readily given. It is not
acceptable to let life pass, without contemplating and deciding the basis upon
which life itself is built and organised.

As our thoughts greatly dominate or decide our actions we should be aware of
how the process of thought works. Through our five senses of Sight, Touch,
Hearing, Smell and Taste man is able to receive information. The mind once it
has received the reality or information can then distinguish it, provided it has
previous information about it to link with what it has received. So four
elements are required for thought;
1. The reality (word, information, etc),
2. The sensing or feeling transmitted to the mind,
3. A distinguishing mind,
4. Previous information about the reality to link with the other three.

So a person may come across a plant which he recognises as a plant from his
previous information about what plants look like. Through sight, touch and
smell he will perceive the reality of the plant, but without previous information
about the type of plant he cannot decide if it is poisonous or edible. We
should always keep these elements in mind when thinking, as without correct
previous information we cannot make correct informed decisions. Just
receiving information is not enough, people receiving information become
educated not thinkers, the process of linking to previous information and
distinguishing it is the process of thought. The search for comprehensive and
truthful previous information to relate to todays reality is critical to man’s

Selasa, 11 Oktober 2011

Personal Development Power

Personal Development Power. Self Improvement stipulates that in order to change we must first accept that we are responsible for everything that has, is and will ever happen in our lives. Accountability is the most important word in Personal Development! You must accept that you created your life.

From the very day you were born up to this very moment while you are reading this article, you are surrounded by negativity. It is bombarding you constantly! Your parents raised you the best way they could but in many ways this was like "the blind leading the blind". They, as imperfect people, did an imperfect job. Your teachers tried to direct you as best they could with a flawed educational system as imperfect human beings also. Peers, hurting from emotional traumas, ridiculed and belittled you in the playground and beyond. Peer pressure has left you with emotional scars that just won‘t seem to heal.

There are a thousand reasons that can be given for your present position in life, your outlook and your lack of belief in yourself. However, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", Old Chinese Adage. In personal development that single, and most important, step is accountability or taking full responsibility for your life. To begin your steps and journey on the path to success it is of paramount importance to take accountability for the decisions, actions and thoughts that have lead you to where you currently are. You must stop blaming others for the way you feel, for the state of your life and your circumstances. The things that happened in the past cannot be changed, altered or removed. The past has already happened and what happened in the past should stay there. Your power is always in the present.

Not matter how hard you try or how much you moan, complain and feel regretful you simple cannot change the past. You must fully accept that it occurred and accept that you are who you are now and you are where you are now because of your own decisions and actions. Eliminate the need to blame others, circumstances or your environment for your problems. If you take responsibility and accountability for your own life and circumstances you will release a tremendous power that currently lies dormant within you. You will release you infinite power and potential.

Blaming others for you problems or current circumstances will lead you to ruin in the long run. The simple fact of the matter is, that if others are responsible for your problems then you have no way of changing those problems. You have handed your power to someone else. If it is their doing then only they can fix it. However, when you begin to realize that you are the only person who is responsible for your life and your problems then you also realize that you are the only one who can fix them! This is an exhilarating feeling when you truly grasp the concept and accept it. You no longer need to rely on others to “fix” you or your life. You can immediately regain full control everything in your life and begin to direct your own destiny.

By trying to manipulate circumstances, environments or people you will always remain out of control. You can never control everything nor everyone. But the great news is you can recreate YOUR world as you see fit! Although you can never control the actual world nor control the people in it, you can make your world (your surroundings, home, job the people you meet and interact with etc.) they way you want it to be .

We are told in numerous religious teachings that we were made in the image and likeness of The Creator. God-force resides within each and everyone of us. This means we have access to infinite resources and infinite power. Your infinite power has expression in the physical world through your decision or intention.

There is a desire within everyone to better their life. This desire takes different forms and has different objectives but we all have it. Many have been carrying these desires their entire lives never getting close to realising them. If we are all connected to the Source of all things, being made in the likeness and image of our Creator, where do you think that desire originates?

You would not be given desires and the yearning to better yourself and your life if it were not possible to achieve same. You were not put here to struggle. You came to overcome challenges and to enjoy the journey of life. You were given the tools to achieve anything you want and those tools reside within you.

Start with ambition! Decide that you can and will reach your goals because you now know that you are responsible for the direction your life takes and no-one else.

Create a vision that will stoke the fires of your enthusiasm. A vision that means something to only you. Something you have always wanted to achieve, be or do. The kind of vision that makes your heart sing and soul take flight. Set your intention to achieve it. You are responsible. This is your vision for the future. This is the vision of your perfect life.

Now set stepping stone goals. Goals that once achieved have brought you that bit closer to your vision. Always set a goal that will take some effort to achieve but that does not seem so impossible that you will get discouraged and quit.

Write down your vision and your goals. Make statements that reflect positive outcomes as though they have already happened i.e. "I am extremely grateful now that I own my own successful business".

Never frame the statement in negative terms or in a way that reflects the "wanting" of the goal. By wanting a thing you are, in fact, just confirming to yourself that you lack it! When you have a "want" you are really sending a clear message to yourself that you do not already have it! you want it because you don't have it!

Let's take an example - your vision states that you want harmony in your home. You make the decision that you no longer think the area where you live is desirable. You believe that it is causing untold damage to your family due to the negative nature of your environment. You decide that a good stepping stone goal would be to move to a better area. In order to do this you decide you need to find a better job to pay for the house. In order to get better employment it be become necessary to return to education, perhaps through a night class or correspondence course etc. Each goal should build the previous one.

Let's return to the example of the house. You set one of your stepping stone goals to buy a house in a better area, let's call this area "The Keys". Never word a goal in terms that are negative i.e., "I don't want to live here anymore" or place your goal in the future, i.e., "I will live in a 5 bedroom house in The Keys". You would phrase it positively and in the present, i.e., "I enjoy the solitude, relaxed, comfortable environment my new five bedroom house in The Keys provides for me and my family".

Ensure that you set a deadline for the attainment of your goal but again, make it realistic. Chose a goal that is just out of reach but not so far out of reach that achieving it seems impossible. As you progress in your own personal development and begin to access and realise the true power of your intentions and thoughts your deadlines can get closer and your goals will get bigger. For example, "It is [write future date] and I live in a 5 bedroom house in The Keys."

Read this statement twice a day. Morning and night. Visualize your goal and then your vision as being real in the here and now. To this successfully you need to get very specific and very detailed. The more specific your goal is, the faster you will achieve it. What colour are the carpets in those 5 bedrooms? Is the entrance hall tiled? Perhaps you have wooden floors. What size is the garden? Is there a garage?

Now that you have set your goal it is necessary to calculate the best way of achieving it. Don't worry if you can't think of a way of achieving your vision or the path to your goal may be a little hazy at the minute. Taking whatever small steps you can right now will open up other opportunities and clearer path will become visible. However, for now let's assume you know how to get to your goal. Set yourself small stepping-stone tasks that when followed and executed leave you that little bit closer to your final destination. Schedule these steps. This is where a "one page to one day" diary is invaluable. These small easy to manage and perform tasks are the concrete on your road to success. Take them everyday and you cannot fail to reach your goal. As you become more proficient at personal development techniques like these you will find that you will set your sights higher. Your goals will get bigger, your tasks will become greater and your life will be more enriched!