Only when people feel that the evils of the past will not return and believe that 'things are moving in the right direction' will they be in a position to loosen the bonds of the past, relinquish the impulse for revenge and orient towards the future.
Dr Andrew Rigby, Professor of Peace Studies and Director of the Centre for Forgiveness and Reconciliation at Coventry University
Throughout history, man has known pain, lived with fear,suffered gross injustice, inequality, bondage, discrimination, social and racial prejudice. Yet, amid all these struggles, man has moved forward to build a stronger world and today, many of us can appreciate the word freedom.
On a personal level, there is a constant battle with some issues of the past, demons to conquer, failures and many wrong choices and regrets along the way. The past will come back to haunt you. These are scary words. Perhaps in the decades gone by, people had some darkness in their past that they fearfully guard. Imagine the fear that gripped at their hearts- fear of disgrace, betrayal, fall from the pedestal and other issues from a dark place.
Today's societal norms are more relaxed. Technology dominates society, can't live without it. Information is only a click of a mouse away. The fears of yesteryears, like teen pregnancy, divorce or separation, homosexuality, infidelity, job loss or financial ruin are out in the open. This does not mean that today, there are no issues from the past that haunts many of us.
There are hurtful and unhealthy events and some individuals in the past that leave a deep imprint in our core being. Betrayal of a sacred covenant between lovers can be devastating for the offended party. This is a cross that weighs heavily and one need to gather all the strength and courage to move on. Relationship issues cover a broad scope. It is said, the one you love can hurt you the most. Domestic abuse and violence still happens. It is no longer kept behind closed doors.There are crusaders who manage to survive and try to help those who are caught in this trap. Friendship has its dark side as well- despite a strong tie that bonds friends. It is understandable that friends share confidential matters. After all, what is a friend for? But, beware, what deepest secrets should you confide to a friend.
Childhood trauma still pervades in our world. The internet opened the door to predators who pry on the innocence of youth. This is tragic, but, today, there is more awareness of these issues and agencies are set up to provide prevention, guidance and counselling. Trauma like this does take its toll. On the bright side, there are many survivors who openly share their stories and prove it is possible to move on.
The past may not be all doom and gloom. There are glory days as well- like a high school beauty queen who did not make it past that moment. Instead, she gets stuck in the duldrom pace of a small town. Think of the promising scholar who made a wrong choice and ends up stuck in a dark alley of Life. What about the sport champion, or a hero of the silver screen who ended up in the wrong company and is lost in the world of drugs or crime? Some can not move past the adventures of fast cars, girls, pranks and carefree days of youth. They are stuck in that period.
Who has not made a wrong choice in life? This is why it is said that hindsight is 20/20. Making mistakes is a learning curve, stepping stones to opportunity. Some of us are highly charged emotionally and reason gets cast to the winds. Many still walk around with the heavy weight of the past.
Sustained anger serves no purpose, it takes you to a dark place, with it comes physical, emotional and spiritual sickness. You open yourself to fear, you ask why, you over analyze. This can not be the foundation of your future decisions. Stop feeling like a victim. There are encouraging stories of those who are able to climb out of the dark place and learn to reach out.
Try to let go, learn what you can. Seek counsel to help you take a step forward. This is a challenge, but dwelling on past pain and hurt, mistakes and the like serves no purpose. Let go of the fears and the demons from the past that only serve to make you angry and afraid. Some need to grow up and face the present. The past belongs to the past. You can not do anything about what has passed. But you certainly can do something about the future and move on stronger, healthier, happier and wiser.
Bonnie Moss writes to inspire and to motivate her readers to explore the depths of their heart and soul and make a difference in this world. She draws from personal experience and her interest in spirituality. Visit her website:
http://goldencupcafe.org/
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