Years ago I went on a silent retreat for women. Although I loved being in silence for 5 days, the evenings were filled with the woman leading the retreat giving us these two and three hour sermon-like talks, during which we sat silently in one position on the floor. She mostly talked about the brilliance of her guru - and the whole thing just left me really unmoved. Just not my style. But one story that she told about her guru stuck with me all these years, and it's one of the stories that I use the most when working with my most-awesome private clients.
So the story goes like this: retreat-lady walked in on her guru meditating one morning, and for the first time in her experience he was sitting there with this upset and disturbed look on his face as he meditated. She had never seen him look upset while meditating, so it worried her.
Later, at lunch, she asked him about it. "Guru," she said, "when I walked by you this morning you were looking very upset and disturbed while you meditated. Is something wrong?"
And the little old man laughed with his head thrown back. "Oh, I was not upset and disturbed! Only my thoughts were upset and disturbed. I am wonderful!"
What I took from this story is that WE are NOT our feelings. I imagine it as us being the sky, and the clouds being our feelings - they float across our sky, maybe making the day seem dark (even though the sun's still there, behind them), maybe covering up the sky, but the sky is always there, unchanged, blue, bright, sunny. So if we call the clouds what they are - or the feelings what they are, we connect with the fact that they have no bearing on the decisions we make, the actions we take.
Here is an exercise you can do on your own to identify how fear is showing up in your life and what is at risk if you don't explore and release it.
Create a space for yourself with tools that support you in getting focused. Light a candle, make a cup of tea, get your journal and favorite pen, and set the intention to really open up to seeing how fear holds you back in your life - just to get to observe its presence.
Write these questions down in your journal and then starting with the first one you've written, just read it out loud to yourself, put pen to paper, and start writing.
Let go of the reflexive impulse to edit, censor, check for spelling, etc. Just put the pen to paper and get out of your own way.
1. Taking a deep breath in, ask yourself, "Where is fear showing up in my life right now?"
2. "How is it showing up? Where can I feel it in my body? How is it manifesting in my daily life?"
3. "What is my fear protecting me from?" Sometimes this can be a hard one to see, but pose the question to yourself and see what comes. Chances are, if the fear has stuck around for any length of time it's serving some protective service for you, even if it's a really old and outdated belief.
4. Here's the scary one - are you ready? "What's at risk if I don't let go of this fear, if I don't stop recognizing it as the cloud moving across my sky, instead of the sky itself?"
If you would like more inspiration and support to let go of your fear, please visit my website or send me an email at Britt@inarmscoaching.com
Britt Bolnick is the joyful owner and master coach of In Arms Coaching for Women. She is thrilled to work with women who are ready to live each day from a place of inner balance, personal power, and joy -- while creating meaningful and lucrative work, healthy and fulfilling relationships, and a deep and guiding connection to self. Visit her at http://www.inarmscoaching.com/
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar